Learning to be a Duck

A moment of honesty: I find it difficult to want to learn the language of people here in Namibia.  People throw new words at me constantly, wanting me to repeat after them, respond, and so on.  Learners are always trying to teach me new words, which can be a lot of fun, especially because I love learning languages.  However, this is the first time and the first country I have gone to where I have no desire to speak their language fluently.  That sounds awful.  It makes me feel like a bad person.  It is unlike me.  But, hear me out, and please know that this isn’t me trying to justify my feelings because I know I should respond differently.   

For starters, I was brought to this country to teach my learners English, the official language of the country.  The language they will be required to know and speak for the rest of their lives.  On top of that, every time I am greeted by someone older (20 plus) I am laughed at for responding in their language.  If I answer correctly, I am laughed at.  If I answer incorrectly, I am laughed at.  Nobody can learn or have the desire to learn under situations like that.  We have all probably experienced something like this in our own schooling experiences.  Thirdly, there are very few times that I am in a room with others and they attempt to speak English, which they all know how to do pretty well.  I am not included.  I am not in the know.  I am left out 98% of the time, which makes that other 2% of the time make me not want to talk, a characteristic very unfitting for my personality.  I love to talk.  Awkward or not, I talk…A LOT!

To add on, there have even been situations where someone says my name and I greet them in English, but they insist I speak in Oshikwanyama.  Do they laugh after?  You bet!  Making me feel like the only reason they want to talk with me is to laugh at the American girl.

I write all of this now with hope that during my short holiday I can regroup and do a better job at brushing this kind of stuff off for my final term.  In the words of my father, “Be a duck! Let if roll off.”  Always easier said than done, but here’s to regrouping and coming back a duck.