To continue my week of somewhat depressing posts, I need to get this off of my chest. I am so sick of being treated like a piece of meat, or less important than the male sex. From people in town who holler at me like I am a dog, to some, particularly one male teacher, that makes me feel like I am nothing, I am sick of it. I understand that not every country is as developed as America and I understand that equality is still developing in other countries, but this constant make Ms. Mac feel stupid and little is getting old. I am tired of going into town and being hollered at. I am tired of every man asking for my number. NEWS FLASH...I do not know you, I do not want to date you, and I do not care if you think African men are better lovers...HOP OFF! This has seriously gotten so out of control that I daily wear a ring on my ring finger and tell people that I am engaged/married/etc. It works occasionally, but I have had people tell me that we can just cut it off. Hmmmm....or NOT. Can you get an idea of how important relationship commitments are here?
In reference to this particular male teacher, I am tired of him treating me like I am some child just because I am female and younger than him. I am an intelligent WOMAN, that in my biased opinion deserves respect. I came to this country to be taken seriously as an educator of English. I came here to help these students to improve their English. I came here to show Christ's love to the different nations. I came here to SERVE. But I feel like others, not all (some are genuinely kind and uplifting), see me as having come here to date the men in their country. They think I came here to be their puppet. They see me as their next mission to conquer. Quite frankly, it hurts my feelings.
These little things are being taken into consideration as I make these very important upcoming decisions. What I'm not sure that people understand though is that I never leave work. I wake up, I'm at work. I go to work, I'm obviously at work. I go home, I am still at work. I cannot escape my issues. I cannot get away from the people that I feel are offending me and making me feel small. I am 100% all of the time surrounded by the things that are making this journey so difficult. My only time to relax and detox is on the weekends, which is why I am leaving my village so often to be with people who love on me and understand what I am going through.
Continue to pray for me as I make this very important decision. I am so thankful for all of your uplifting words, prayers, and praise. Thanks to them, I know that if I choose to come home, I will only need to worry about my own personal disappointment. Pray with me that God gives me the wisdom that I need. Pray hard!
Taylor,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that this journey continues to be such a challenge for you. While I can sympathize with many of your challenges, I know that your particular task has not been easy and that it takes a lot of inner strength to be in your particular living/working environment.
That being said, I hope you find the strength within yourself to continue serving in Namibia. If you find that you have to go home though, know that we will miss you terribly, but we are still very proud of you and happy that we were able to share some amazing memories together!
Well I think that staying as long as you have is amazing! I don't think I would have been able to do it! I'm sure you probably can't get an attitude and talk back like I would (which is why I won't ever do anything like that) bc I'm sure id get my face slapped! Lol but continue to be strong and focus on the kids and how much you mean to them and the reasons you are there.. maybe start thinking of some snark slighty bitchy remarks to say that won't get you in too much trouble but will teach them "hey maybe shoes not a frail little girl"! Try to think of the positives!!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Cera!
So sorry you're having to deal with such issues. It's sad to think you've come to help and serve and these people are taking advantage and abusing the gift they were given meaning you.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you in my thoughts and prayers