Prayers Prior to Namibia

Prior to being accepted into WorldTeach, Marty, my pastor at Parkway, passed out this small laminated piece of paper that had a prayer written on it.  I prayed this prayer every night for awhile, especially during my application process and while waiting to see if I would be accepted.  Here is what it says:

"I am no longer my own, but thine.
Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.

Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee,
exalted for thee or brought low for thee.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.

I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
thou art mine, and I am thine.

So be it.

And the covenant which I have made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen."

Some pretty deep stuff.  I found this prayer again last week after my FD left.  Things were obviously going better, but a part of me kept feeling skeptical about things changing, and I won't lie, I still am.  However, I reread this and honestly my world was rocked.  I prayed this so consistently, truly wanting all of these things.  Truly wanting God to use me.  So as I read it again, I realize that this prayer has and is being answered.  Put me to doing....check.  Put me to suffering...check.  Exalted for the...check.  Brought low for thee....check.  Let me be full....Oh my gosh check.  Let me be empty....check.  Let me have all things...check.  Let me have NOTHING...check and check!

This situation is hard, but ultimately, God is in control.  He heard my prayers, He knows what I can handle, and now, He has answered my prayers and is forcing me to grow!