“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old
he will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
Last week, two students walked to the back of the library
where I keep my work supplies and sports equipment. Wrapped up in a rubber band was a black jump rope. The smaller boy asked me what it was
and I proceeded to explain the concept to him. In actuality, he knew what it was, but before making the
connection, he told me that he thought it was used for beating. My students know that I do not believe in
physical discipline, which lead me to ask them a question I already knew the
answer to: “have you ever seen me beat someone?” At this point, my older boy stepped in and replied with a
very nonchalant, “no and I don’t understand why.”
Today, a week later, I witnessed a punishment I was not in
favor of and in fact believe was inappropriate and extreme. At the beginning, these acts made me
upset, but as time passes, these actions only piss me off. They make me so mad that all my body
can think is that I need to go for a run now now so that I don’t do something
stupid. One of my learners who
knows me very well could tell that I was not pleased with what I witnessed, so
he brought up the topic. Without
going into great detail, I explained to him that I don’t think it is right to
beat a child for do something wrong.
His response… “Miss, you can’t let it affect you, you can’t change
it. That’s how it is…” And with those words, I thought two things.
One, why can’t I change it? Two,
there’s now another generation growing up to believe that school learners
SHOULD be physically punished for their actions.
As I mentioned before, my students know that I will not beat
them. Do I lose some control over
them because of that? I do, but
for me it is worth it. The thing
is though, I don’t think my learners truly understand why physically inflicting
pain on them is not an option for me.
Therefore, I’m writing this entry to explain why that is, even if my
students may never find access to this website…
Where to start?
Let me go back to the bible verse I posted at the beginning. Although I know this verse is referring
to Jesus, the church, and fellowship, it can also apply to many aspects of
life. The way a child is brought
up will determine the way he behaves as he is older. What a child is taught at a young age will continue into his
or her later years of life.
Knowing that, and knowing the affects that physical punishments have on
children, I do not believe physical violence is the key to teaching children to
behave appropriately. Studies have
proven that corporal punishment or “physical punishment” allows children to see
violence as a way of solving problems.
The way we punish our children and students at a young age more often
than not leads to the way they handle personal situations once they become old
enough to process issues on their own.
If that is indeed true, I want to train a child in the proper way to
go. I do not want to see or hear
that my children are solving their problems with violence.
Secondly, I was not raised in a home where verbal or
physical punishment was really used.
Does that mean I was a perfect little angel? I like to say yes, but my mother will definitely tell you
otherwise…I was a terror child.
Does that mean that I went 23 years without a spanking from a
parent? Nope, we had a good pal
called Donald Duck to do that. Did
all of this happen a lot in the McLaughlin household though? No because it wasn’t really the nature our family thrived
in. Because of that, I can tell
you that whenever I was mad, upset, angry, name any negative emotion, the thing
that helped me to calm down the most was love. I needed to know or feel love. Still to this day, if I get into a fight with someone and we
lash out at each other, the thing I want most is to feel loved. I want that hug that tells me we will
make it through; that “I’m sorry and everything will be ok.” For me, and many other people, I
respond better to speech: talking things through, explaining the issue, working
out a solution, determining what I could have done to handle the situation
better? Since I know this about
myself, I’d prefer to apply it in the lives of my students. They are not as exposed to this style
of discipline and problem solving, which is why I continuously implement it
into my class. If I see a student
struggling or acting out, I take them aside and discuss the issue. What good does it do me to beat them if
I do not know why they are doing something in the first place?
Lastly, this verse is extreme, but here it goes… “But if
anyone causes one of these little ones who believes in me to sin, it would be
better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned
in the depths of the sea” (Matthew 18:2-6). Ultimately, my students are my brothers and sisters in
Christ. Not only am I their
teacher, but I am here to love them the way God loves them. I am here in this country to show
Christ’s love to the nations, and for me, that is through hugs, sweets,
stickers, big smiles, and finding a way to make something super serious or upsetting
a little less traumatic.
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