An honest answer; a kiss on the lips

"When someone mistreats you try to view it as an opportunity to grow in grace.  See how quickly you can forgive the one who has wounded you."
-Jesus Calling-

I held these words deeply to my heart last night as I was presented with a situation on the homestead that was incredibly upsetting and hurtful.  As many people know, I consider myself to be close with my homestead brothers and sister.  We have shared stories together, we have laughed together, we have been educated together, and we have gone to town together.  I honestly considered them to be my family away from home, doting on them and taking care of them just like I would if I had a younger brother or sister in America.

A couple weeks ago, I was made aware that one of my brothers had lied to me about his age and some other personal matters that are not mine to share on the World Wide Web.  I was really confused by the age thing, but I wrote it off as him being embarrassed that we are only one year apart and that he is still in school.  I wouldn’t have thought anything of it if he had been honest and told me he was 22 though.  This is Namibia and many of my students are close to my age.  Therefore, I was a little bit offended that he lied about that and never thought to tell me the truth.

Last night however, another lie surfaced that pushed me over.  My homestead sister had told me that her birthday was in August and that she was turning 14.  Considering one of my love languages is giving, I set out during my holiday to find a gift that was suitable and practical for a girl schooling in the village.  Unfortunately, I found out last night that her birthday is actually in November and that she will be turning 16.  SLAP IN THE FACE!  What just happened?!  You mean I bought a gift for a birthday that didn’t even exist?! To hear those words spoken felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.

When I found all of this out, I had to leave the kids immediately because I was just too furious to look at them.  I walked home, grabbed my running shoes, put on some Skrillex, and set out to process this lie and a few others with a run.  After returning home, I spoke with the "kids" about how hurt and upset I was.  I got excuse after excuse, which honestly hurt me more.  I am a person that is very honest, sometimes too honest, so to still be misinformed added to the pain.  I asked the students to leave knowing that I would need a couple days to myself.

Now, I know that I will forgive them.  In many ways, I already have.  They still have such a strong hold on my heartstrings, but for a little while, I just wanted to be upset at their behavior.  I’m sure that is childish, but it was how I felt.  Having this happen, I questioned what I was actually doing here.  I had helped other students out at school; my parents had organized a scholarship for the learners in my life.  I began to wonder if those students had also lied to me.  Had I been played?  I honestly will never know; how can I?  I’m praying and trusting in God that the things I have done have been for a valid reason.  Ultimately, I need to remember that no matter what, many of these children do need my help, so any time or help I have given them was ultimately worth it.

"An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."

-Proverbs 24:26-