America vs. Europe

For the first time in a very long time, I want to settle down in America.  As long as I can remember, starting back to when you are actually old enough to plan your future, I have seen myself in Europe.  I still see myself there actually.  The food, the people, the fashion, the beauty, it all speaks to me.  However, recently I’ve been having different thoughts.  It scares me to be honest.  I feel like I’ve always been the girl that’s headed on some kind of adventure, so to want to put a hold on that is weird and a little “what am I doing?”  Being in Namibia though has made me stop and really analyze what is best for me.  I don’t know that staying state side is best, but at this point, it seems like it.  I want to eventually have a job that lasts longer than a year, get a sweet pup, get plugged into an awesome community of believers, and start a life.

Here’s the problem I face though… When I think of finally saying I’m not moving to Europe, I’m not going to pursue that dream, it gets harder to breathe.  That’s a huge part of me that I am giving up.  What if I regret it?  What if I never get to live out that dream after I settle down somewhere?  What if American living leads to the same old monotonous lifestyle that so many people complain about?  I know many of you are thinking you’re young, you have plenty of time, but I feel that is what so many of us say.  Oh we’ll do it eventually…But then, then we are in our lives and it is never the right time to go.  There’s work.  There’s a boy.  There’s family. Money. What what (Namibian etc.).

At the end of the day, there’s really no solution to these ramblings just yet.  They are merely that, just ramblings.  Just me expressing my concerns for my future.  Maybe they are things that y’all can relate to and even advise on, but for now, it is me putting these thoughts out there, which in some odd way helps me to understand my own situations better.