Growth

I am growing.  Always, always growing.  This journey is changing me and molding me into the woman God intended me to be.  I am thankful for that.  I am thankful that a little over a year ago on February 23, I found out that I would be moving to Namibia, Africa.  At that time, the thought was just a dream.  I never imagined life would play out the way it has.  I didn’t think I would face as many challenges, but I also didn’t think I’d meet so many incredible people along the way and be blessed so immensely.  Between WorldTeach Volunteers, random volunteers in the country, people in Otjerunda, people in Windhoek, and people in Opuwo, I am forming friendships that I know have the potential to last for years to come.

After doing some work and a quick, pathetic workout (peanut butter is turning out to be my frenemy), I took the time to look back over the journal I have been keeping while here.  I read through it with a sense of pride.  From day one to now, I have conquered so much.  Yes, I still have daily issues and daily frustrations, mainly ones that come with living and working at my job, but I have established a routine, I have made connections with other teachers, I have seen improvements in my learners, and I have seen eager minds at work.  With that last comment made, I gave my first tests this week.  The marks were all over the place, but there are those few students that get it, which makes the really low grades worth it.  As for those learners that still struggle, but continue to fight and participate and try so so hard, oh those are the ones that melt my heart.  To see them respect me, to get involved in class lectures, and to truly try to do well.  These are the students I love.  The fighters!  We need more fighters in this world.

For those of you who are music people, and who allow lyrics and instruments to speak to your soul, I ask that you listen to LP’s Into the Wild.  That song is my anthem for my Namibian year.  It gives me power.  It speaks deep within.  It reminds me that I am a traveling heart eager to see this great big world.

“Somebody left the gate open.

You know we got lost on the way.

Come save us, a runaway train.

How do we, how do we not fade.

How do we, how do we, how do we not fade away.

Into the Wild.

How are we living, living, living.

Into the Wild.”

These may not be 100% accurate since I don’t have access to the lovely world of Google as I type them, but whatever they are, they move me.  To think about their meaning is deep.  Analysis is different for everyone, but for me, the gate has been left open so many times.  How many times have I been lost?  The question “how did I not fade away?”  The only answer is from the strength of my Savior who sent me into the wild.